Today was my husbands birthday. Very domestic I know, but that’s me – domesticated! We went for Indian food Saturday night with my sister and her husband and a couple of his friends – it was a great evening. Then Sunday we had his daughters over for a tea and cake (golf themed!); I bought him a new putter (golf nut), a knitted BB8 and took him for lunch, it was very pleasant and he’s had a great day. Particularly since he also looked at a new car and has decided to buy it.
It’s so different these days. We’ve been married 6 years, second marriages for us both and we get on ridiculously well. We have different interests and hobbies, so we bring different things to the party, but we support each other and encourage each other. Different.
My ex-husband was an alcholic narcissist and, coincidentally, his birthday was 3 days before. Both are the same zodiac sign, but very very different. The ex was not social and had refused to talk to his family for years. I was not allowed to talk to them either – hell, I was barely allowed to talk to my own. I tried to make a special day for him, but over the years he alienated all his friends so they dropped off one by one. He could be very charming, but very antagonistic.
This isn’t really about him though – it’s about how different my life is now. My newish spouse is loving and giving, a gentle man and a gentleman. I asked him today how he would have spent his birthday previously. Mostly ignored was his response. I cannot understand that – even had I not been deeply in love with this man I now share my life with, I would still have wanted to make the day special. And that’s his gift to me really, that I can and he lets me.